Kink Stats You’ll Want to Know: Surprising Facts About BDSM & Fetish Play
Think BDSM is niche, weird, or just for a tiny group of “extreme” people?
Think again.
Kink is far more mainstream than most realise. From light bondage in the bedroom to elaborate roleplay scenes, people all over the world are getting creative with sex — often more than they admit.
If you’re curious about how common kink really is, these eye-opening kink stats will change how you see it — and maybe even encourage you to explore for yourself.
✅ 1. More Than Half of People Have Fantasised About BDSM
Studies consistently show that BDSM-themed fantasies are very common.
📌 One often-cited survey (Joyal & Carpentier, 2017) found 64% of women and 53% of men had fantasies about being dominated.
📌 Conversely, 46% of women and 60% of men had fantasies about dominating someone.
In other words? Most people have thought about it — even if they haven’t tried it yet.
If you're ready to go beyond fantasy, our Beginner’s Guide to BDSM is the perfect starting point for safe, consensual exploration.
✅ 2. Nearly 1 in 5 People Have Tried Bondage
BDSM isn’t just in people’s heads — they’re acting on it.
A UK study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found 19% of adults reported trying bondage.
This can range from playful handcuffs to full rope scenes. It’s proof that mild kink is already part of many people’s sex lives — even those who don’t identify as “kinky.”
If you’re curious about trying it safely, see our How to Plan a BDSM Scene for negotiation and safety tips.
✅ 3. Kink Isn’t Just for the Young
Forget the stereotype that kink is only for 20-something swingers.
📌 A survey in the UK found interest in BDSM remains steady across age groups, with many people in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond reporting interest and play.
📌 Many discover kink later in life, as confidence grows and taboos fade.
This is your permission slip: it’s never “too late” to explore.
✅ 4. Consent and Communication Are Core Values
One of the most important — and often misrepresented — truths about BDSM:
It’s built on consent.
📌 Most active kink practitioners use safewords or signals.
📌 Negotiation before scenes is standard practice.
📌 Aftercare is normal, not niche.
Far from being dangerous or fringe, kink culture prioritises clear communication and mutual respect.
In fact, Relate says talking openly about sex, desires, and boundaries is one of the best ways to build trust with your partner(s).
If you're new to that level of communication, our Safewords vs Safe Signals Guide helps you get started.
✅ 5. Fetish Diversity Is Huge
When people think “kink,” they often picture whips and chains. But the fetish landscape is far broader — and often quite mild.
📌 Popular kinks and fetishes include:
- Sensory play (blindfolds, temperature)
- Light bondage
- Roleplay
- Foot fetishism
- Power exchange / D/s dynamics
- Impact play (spanking, paddles)
Many people mix and match these — or discover unexpected interests over time.
Ready to sample a few? Our 5 Mild Fetishes to Try Tonight post is a great, no-pressure intro.
✅ 6. Kink Is Discussed in Mainstream Media
Kink used to be taboo — but that’s changing.
Far from being fringe or dangerous, kink culture is openly discussed in mainstream media. Even the BBC has explored how many people enjoy BDSM in a safe, consensual way.
📌 Major newspapers, TV shows, and even relationship therapists talk about kink as part of healthy sexual exploration.
It’s not just for “weirdos” or “outsiders” — it’s for anyone curious enough to communicate, negotiate, and try.
✅ 7. Most Kink Isn’t About Pain
Another big misconception? That BDSM = pain.
📌 Many kink scenes don’t involve pain at all.
📌 Activities can be about psychological play, sensation, or power dynamics.
📌 When pain is involved, it’s negotiated carefully and often enjoyed in a controlled, consensual way.
If you're not sure where you'd fall, try our Yes/Maybe/No BDSM Checklist to discover what interests you — without pressure.
❓ FAQ: Understanding Kink Stats & Culture
Is kink really that common?
Yes! Studies consistently show a majority of people have at least fantasised about kink, and many have tried mild forms.
Isn’t BDSM dangerous?
It can be risky if done without communication. But in healthy practice, negotiation, safewords, and aftercare make it extremely consent-focused.
How do I know if I’m kinky?
If you're curious about power dynamics, sensation play, or roleplay, you’re already on the spectrum! You set your own limits.
How do I bring it up with a partner?
Start by sharing fantasies. Use resources like our How to Introduce BDSM Into Your Relationship post for conversation tips.
Final Thoughts: Stats That Empower, Not Shame
The numbers don’t lie: kink is normal. It’s diverse. And it’s far more mainstream than the stereotypes suggest.
Whether you want to dip your toes into light bondage or explore deeper power dynamics, the truth is: you’re not alone.
Your desires are valid. Your curiosity is healthy. And exploring it — with communication and care — can strengthen trust, pleasure, and self-knowledge.
Ready to start your journey? Browse our Beginner BDSM Collection for safe, body-friendly gear designed to help you explore confidently — no matter where you’re starting from.